Chef Bobby Flay has joined NBC’s upcoming cooking competition series “America’s Next Great Restaurant.”

Flay, one of five restaurant leaders the producers Magical Elves intend to cast, will be an investor, judge and mentor on the show.

“Restaurant” (formerly titled “United Plates of America”) is expected to premiere next season. In the show, contestants with an idea for a restaurant concept will compete to realize their dream of launching a new chain.

credit: Variety
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According to his Twitter, Bobby Flay will be taking over the producing role on Food Network’s Five Ingredient Fix w/Claire Robinson

Good News>>going to start producing Claire Robinson’s Five ingredient Fix

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We’ll be checking out the season finale tonight to see if Rachel or Jenny take home the title of “Worst Cook In America” by… being a good cook? Check out JYI tomorrow for a full post-mortem on the show’s first season.

I originally thought they were going to go for a full on Robin Miller vibe with her, but they seem to have drawn back from that. She still is sticking with the straight up $10 for an appetizer, entree, and dessert. The set is Robin Miller but the cooking is Sandra Lee. I have no idea where they’re filming it, so it’s not going to keep me up at nights.

My singular complaint with this show remains the same. The $10 concept is nonsense. One of her recipes uses “a touch of white wine” which she, of course, has waiting in the refrigerator. It also uses Kalamata olives which, as mentioned in the first post, go for over $10/lb. She always has the handy open bottle of wine or half full box of chicken stock to fill out her recipes. I understand that they’re always half-opened to further the whole “use what you have laying around” mood of the show, but I also find it frustrating that all these meals are “under $10″ only if the viewer goes out one day and spends $200 on ingredients. Balsamic vinegar, for instance, is at least $10 itself. Within the first two episodes of the second season, she’s already hedging her bets with things like “well, this pork shoulder is really cheap as long as you find it on sale” or “these bell peppers ($2.99/lb) or heavy cream ($3.49/pt) can be great if you find them on sale.”

The worst offender, I think, is probably this recipe for tuna bread salad. She specifically says to use a “specialty Italian tuna packed in oil” and balsamic vinegar, then makes the stunning revelation that she’s built the salad for “about $5.” The specialty tuna itself is probably more than five bucks. When she says it’s only “pennies more”, I suppose it’s technically true because 250 or 300 is, in fact, some number of pennies more. She then exclaims that she can’t even believe that price. There’s a reason.

And I suppose there’s something to be said for her ability to talk about penny-pinching in one breath and then reminding everyone of her years living in Paris (you know, the most expensive city in the damn world) or her husband’s excursions to West Africa in the next but, as Alton Brown says, that’s another show.
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The new set is nice, looking something like a mix between Guy Big Bite’s man room and Secrets of a Restaurant Chef’s kitchen with a different background. Guy’s man room set for Big Bite has been a hot topic of discussion between the Just Eyeball It staff as we find something new to look at in Guy’s man room every episode. Claire’s set is equally as amusing, as her fancy Manhattan studio apartment is something like 3/4ths kitchen, but it does include a cozy corner chair and lamp where she can curl up with a good book and admire abstract art. The new season also adds fancy animations for the five ingredients. Instead of being featured when they naturally occur in the recipe, though, they are all featured at the beginning. I don’t think I like this, but I haven’t fully decided. The “5-Ingredient” concept has loosened a bit as in the second episode she considered olive oil that she used in the first recipe as a “free” ingredient in the second recipe.

I was happy to see this second season went with a more standard 12:00 camera angle and did away with both the 2:00 camera angle they used in her first season and “hip” camera angles they used for Ask Aida’s second season. I find the constantly moving camera shooting the people from different angles to be distracting more than anything else. They did enjoy being right up to her face in the premiere episode here, but I’m hoping they tone that down a bit as the season progresses. It was also nice to see they didn’t dress her in the same club wear they’ve been putting on Aida.

We in the JYI studios also hotly debated whether or not the window behind her is active. The window shows a river with a highway across it. I argued it was, because traffic was visible on the road. The point that defeated me, however, was that the road in question looked like the FDR, which would indicate they were taping in Brooklyn instead of Chelsea which, so far as I know, they don’t do. This was until the second episode until I got a better look out the window and it certainly looks like the giant iron support beam outside her window could be from the High Line and beyond that the Hudson River and New Jersey. Maybe it really is just a creative window in Chelsea. This will distract me all season. Much like when I watch Big Bite and try to determine what, exactly, all Guy’s trophies are for.

I was also unimpressed at the food selection in the debut episode. A turkey cutlet pasta, a tuna salad, and some bizarre trail mix? Tuna salad is one of the least complicated things in the world… and I find the idea of taking two beautiful pieces of tuna and baking the bejesus out of them horrifying. Especially when a can would probably serve just as well once it’s blended with mayo or yogurt or whatever gets dumped in it. And pasta with asparagus and olive oil? Color me underwhelmed. The second episode, however, came back in a big way with a bacon and poached egg salad, beef stew in baked potato bowls, and espresso snow (cones) creams. I’m being honest here and — without a hint of hyperbole — beef stew in baked potato bowls might be the finest invention of my lifetime.

Welcome back, Claire. And boo to Food Network for removing the post-episode outtakes.
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2) And can someone tell me why The Chairman is filming all his vignettes from the same spot in an American Airlines terminal? And now an American Airlines plane? It comes off oddly disjointed. Like — I’m sure that it made sense to the chefs who were seeing these once every couple of days… but, to me, how long did the Chairman have to wait for that plane? People, the Iron Chef canon is incredibly over the top. For example, in the episode of Iron Chef America that followed this, the Chairman asked a Chicago chef if he could end 100 years of his city’s shame by winning in Kitchen Stadium. That guy doesn’t fly commercial. The Chairman should be flying to Tokyo on his own private jet with swords on the side and being hand delivered sushi from Morimoto. The man just rented out a airline hangar and made a replica, ten station kitchen stadium and now he’s flying American Airlines business class to Tokyo? C’mon.

3) Today’s theme is pressure. The chairman has sent Chef Suvir Saran, co-owner of Manhattan’s Devi, to judge their first challenge. It is to create their interpretation of India’s flavors in one bite. They have no meat and 30 minutes. Chef Mehta, with his first place finish last week, gets first crack at ingredients. The Indian guy gets the first crack at the India challenge. Well done. As the chefs cook, Saran wanders the kitchen taking Alton Brown’s job of making snarky comments about what the chefs are cooking. Such as “Salt? Why do you enjoy torturing your vegetables?” I’m a fan of this guy and I’d like to go to Devi… for lunch. The dinner menu seems a tad overpriced but I’m all over a $25 lunch Prix Fixe.

4) Chef Garces gets the worst of the judging because he used curry. It appears Indian folks hate stereotypes, too as Saran mentions that someone in India would make three dishes and never use curry. Chef Appelman, in his judging segment, throws a dig Chef Garces’s way by pointing out that his dish has no curry. Saran joins the growing list of people telling Chef Appelman that his food is undersalted and he, again, disagrees. Here’s a hint, aspiring chefs. If everyone but you thinks your food is undersalted, there’s a distinct possibility that your tastebuds might have a different salt sensitivity then the rest of the world. Disagreeing with everyone doesn’t make you right — it makes you a dick. Chef Appelman, however, wins the challenge. Chef Mehta, the Indian guy, finishes third. He appears unamused.

5) For the second Pressure challenge the chefs present the panel five Indian dishes in two hours. They will serve each course on the same plate — so the presentation is all five courses on one serving platter. Chef Appelman’s advantage is he gets to select his proteins first. He decides to take ALL the yellow snapper and a leg of lamb. As the remaining chefs are released, we see a scrum for ingredients. Chefs Mehta and Mullen tug-of-war over goat and Chef Trevino yoinks a chicken directly from Chef Freitag’s hands. Once again, the chefs seem extremely stressed over the time constraints. In previous weeks, they’ve freaked out at having an hour to make two dishes. This week they freak out over having two hours to make five. Again I wonder if any of the contestants have watched Iron Chef. I know at least two have them have been on it. If the time clock is this much of a concern, maybe they might have chosen a different path?

6) I’m really tired of Kikkoman’s Umami commercials. Spoiler alert — Umami is salt.

7) The Survivors: Chefs Freitag, Mullen, and Mehta. Donatella seems particularly annoyed at life today. Her comments are short and snippy and she is quicker than usual to dig at Steingarten. Then Steingarten would later make a dig at Fernald for being a sustainability hippy. Something tells me these three are really sick of being around each other. Chef Freitag was the only one who got a presentation dig. She went first so the judges wouldn’t as yet have known that all the presentations would be the same; food laid out at the five points of a star with a drink of some sort in the middle. They hated her slaw but loved her potato and rice dish and called her chicken “heavenly”. She survives. Chef Mullen seemed like as likely a cut as Appelman but survived (more on this later). The dig at Chef Mehta was he didn’t innovate anything and prepared his Indian food too traditionally since he’s, you know, Indian. Jeffrey (thankfully) pointed out that the grading of this challenge wasn’t supposed to be based on innovation. I’m glad someone pointed out that the metrics in some of these challenge are not Taste/Presentation/Originality.

8) The winner: Chef Garces. In fairness, though, if one chef presented a traditional Indian meal to Iron Chef judges and another chef presented an innovative Latin/Indian fusion meal that worked — the innovator would win. So it was probably correct to give Chef Garces the win in this challenge. It also bears mentioning that Chef Garces was the final chef to go, which means the judges were on their 31st – 35th dishes. It better knock their socks off and he did. Great job.

9) The losers: Chefs Trevino and Appelman. Chef Trevino hasn’t been particularly impressive in preceding weeks so I had him penciled in as fodder. Chef Appelman was more interesting. I’m pretty sure that he and Chef Mullen were roughly on the same level following the challenge and their previous work, but I have a feeling that the tiebreak fell somewhere between “seems really hard to work with” and “too obnoxious to be on television.” It was a nice touch that Food Network edited this episode together with a bunch of instances of Appelman talking about how great he was or his absolute certainty that his Indian dishes were the best, even though the judges spent most of the judging crushing all five of his dishes with comments that ranged from “too American” to “offputting.” He mentions that we’ll be seeing more of him. We won’t. To be honest, his indignation at the suggestion (by everyone) that he underspices his dishes isn’t really firing me up to check out Pulino’s when it opens in December, either. The idea of undersalted pizza doesn’t really excite me, if you can imagine, and the idea that they’ll be doing butchering work on premises isn’t really a kicker. Keep in mind, this place will be, literally, across the street from my beer store/supermarket and I have zero interest in it.

10) If you’re keeping track — we’re down to three New York and one Philly. Again, if I’m Chef Garces… I’m not pricing the hotels around Chelsea Market quite yet.
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1) Chef Ramsay explains that for the next service, each chef will design their own menu, fifty plates each. For some reason he doesn’t mention that the chefs will be designing their own restaurants for their half of the Hell’s Kitchen set. Scheming Kevin and Stoner Dave walk out to the waiting limo and are whisked off to downtown LA, to a hotel roof deck. Chef Ramsay leads them to the edge of the roof, and a huge crowd of people are on the ground cheering. There is no rest for our heroes, as they have 45 minutes to make a dish worthy of the Araxi restaurant. Regular watchers of Hell’s Kitchen know that this is being done so that the winner can have first pick of the returning contestants brought back to help in the final challenge. It also guarantees that the one incompetent returning contestant that no one likes will go to the loser of this challenge. Place your bets on who that’ll be.

2) Scheming Kevin’s making a lobster with corn pudding. Stoner Dave’s got a venison rack with parsnip puree. They plate up, and it’s time for judging. Five judges will taste and vote.

First: Alain Gayot, of Gayot Guide books. He gives one vote for Stoner Dave.
Second: Jamie Maw, former food editor from Canada. Two votes for Stoner Dave.
Third: Tanya Steel, editor of Epicurious. One vote for Scheming Kevin. We’re only one vote away from a tie!
Fourth: Warren Geraghty, chef of West in Vancouver. And that’s two votes for Scheming Kevin. Yayyyyy, a tie!!!
Fifth: Colman Andrews from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. Three votes for Stoner Dave! He wins!

3) The next day, Scheming Kevin and Stoner Dave need to design their menus. Stoner Dave wants simple cooking across the board, while Kevin seems to be going the super-fine dining route. With the menus done, they head to the kitchen. Chef Ramsay lets them know that they need to go outside and take delivery of the “special ingredients” he’s brought in, which means we’ll be seeing who’s being brought back from elimination to help out each chef. Scheming Kevin gives an unintentionally hilarious soundbyte when he tells Stoner Dave not to sign the driver’s invoice until they see if everything is good. They throw open the door and we’ve got Suzanne, Robert, Ariel, Tactful Van, Sabrina, and Amanda. Inside, the teams are picked kickball-style, with Stoner Dave picking first due to him winning the final reward challenge.

Stoner Dave’s team (Blue jackets): Ariel, Robert, Suzanne
Scheming Kevin’s team (Red jackets): Tactful Van, Amanda, Sabrina

4) Time to prep and explain the menus. The Blue team picks up the menu quickly, but Robert feels that Scheming Kevin’s dishes look better. Chef Ramsay thinks Scheming Kevin’s dishes might be too complicated to pull off well, but also calls Stoner Dave’s menu pedestrian, so he doesn’t really seem to have a favorite. Wow, the chefs don’t get to design their section of Hell’s Kitchen? Previously seasons must have gone over budget. That or, like me, people really don’t care what these people want to make their restaurants look like. Leave that to a challenge on Design Star. Since there’s no drama over napkins being a wrong color, and as we’ve got less than forty minutes to go, it’s time to open Hell’s Kitchen!

5) Scheming Kevin and Stoner Dave are called to the pass, and given head chef jackets. It’s time for them to run the kitchen. Among tonight’s diners are head chefs and other VIPs sprinkled about, including the current head of the Araxi, who we are told will be the winner’s employer. In the red kitchen, Amanda is faltering on the first order of scallops. She refires, and right away we’re back to the beginning of the season. In the blue kitchen, Robert’s doing well on appetizers, and they are going out. Amanda is either undercooking or overcooking the scallops, and Scheming Kevin’s starting to freak out. The Announcer Man lets us know that we’re forty minutes into dinner and no Red kitchen appetizers have gone out. Scheming Kevin puts Tactful Van on the fish, and appetizers start to go out.

6) In the Blue kitchen, they’re almost done with appetizers. A shortage of mushrooms leads to Stoner Dave telling Robert to use them sparingly so they can stretch them and not run out. Chef Ramsay notices how much fewer mushrooms are in the orders of risotto and wants answers from Stoner Dave. Stoner Dave calls out Robert for not using enough. Robert, in turn, interviews that since he feels slighted and backstabbed, it’s time to mess with Stoner Dave. Awesome. Just once, ONCE, I’d like to see the returning contestants in the final round of any reality show be the best of the eliminated people, instead of idiots thrown in just to stir up drama. But I know I’m in the minority there. Food is still leaving the Blue kitchen, so all is not lost.

7) On the Red side, Scheming Kevin is leaning on Tactful Van for pretty much everything. And that’s all we see of that, because we go back to the Blue kitchen. An order of venison is too well done. It’s redone, and it’s fine now. Entrees are going out on both sides. It’s the Red kitchen that gets the ticket for the Araxi chef, and Scheming Kevin lets the team know it. He calls for beef medium well, then medium rare, then medium well. When he gets it, he flips and says it needed to be medium rare. Oh, right; of course. The segment is edited to make Amanda out to be the idiot, but Scheming Kevin’s not doing anything to help her along.

8) Scheming Kevin calms down enough to lead his team through the rough spot, and he’s got six tables left. But Stoner Dave has four left! With that announcement, almost as if on cue, the Blue kitchen starts to slip. A salmon comes back undercooked, and the meat is coming to the pass wrong. This all leads to a second TIE as both kitchens now have four tables to go, then they each have one table to go. And that’s it! The blue kitchen is done! Then the Red kitchen is done! Scheming Kevin and Stoner Dave thank their sous chefs, and we’re cleared down.

9) In the dorms, Stoner Dave is doubting himself. The winner will be determined by comment cards and Chef Ramsay’s observations in the kitchen. The phone rings, and the chefs are called to the Office. Inside the Office are two doors. Only one door will open, and that person will step through the door the winner of Hell’s Kitchen. Chef Ramsay claims that this season’s voting was the closest yet. Of course it was.

10) Scheming Kevin and Stoner Dave grab the handles…turn…and it’s Stoner Dave!! He comes downstairs to the crowd. He tearfully interviews how happy he is, and Chef Ramsay interviews that not only is Stoner Dave a good chef, but also worked through so much pain. Hey, there’s former winner Rock! Confetti! It’s time for champagne, celebrating, and…outtakes during the credits?

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of season six of Hell’s Kitchen is Stoner Dave! Congrats, Stoner Dave. May your wrist finally get a chance to heal.

My thought: I’m happy with this outcome. Early on, I just figured Dave was risking serious damage for a contest he wouldn’t likely win. As the weeks went on, he proved himself much more competent and capable that I originally thought. He did his job, never really got into it with anyone, and seems like a genuinely good dude. And with that, we close the book on another season of Hell’s Kitchen. Casting for next season is currently ongoing, so here’s hoping we’re back in the kitchens this Spring. See you then!

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1) The next day, Chef Ramsay talks about Whistler, British Columbia and about how it’s going to be crazy when the 2012 Olympics happen up there. Behind him are three domes, and each one has a world cuisine type under it. Ariel draws China. Stoner Dave picks India. Scheming Kevin gets Mexico. The pantry is stocked with ingredients from those three cuisines. We’ve only got two hours here so let’s jump into our–

2) Reward challenge: make an entree. Stoner Dave’s never made anything Indian before, and is looking to just India-cize something he knows how to make. This laser-guided plan ensures that he’s the last one to start prepping. But all of the chefs finish on time (of course), so let’s eat! Chef Ramsay’s not the only one tasting, though. He’s got three chefs, each an expert in the cuisine type, to help him—Vikas Khanna (India), Thomas Ortega (Mexico), and Eddie Wong (China). Wha’d ya make?

Ariel: Some kind of noodle dish in a broth with duck (she completely blanks on what she was going for). It receives faint praise, but no one is blown away by it.
Scheming Kevin: Orange and cumin pork tenderloin with mole sauce, but oops! Scheming Kevin forgot to put the sauce on the plate. Chef Ortega believes the dish is very obviously missing it, but the other two guest judges like it.
Stoner Dave: Mung bean puree and seared pork tenderloin. He explains that he doesn’t make Indian food, and that he thought that using beef would be wrong. Chef Khanna politely explains that pork wouldn’t really fly in Indian food due to the population of Muslims. But the flavors were good.

3) Heere’s your winner, Stoner Dave! He’ll get lunch prepared by the guest judges and the opportunity to talk to them and pick their brains. He also gets a set of cookware, the same brand stuff the chefs have been using in Hell’s Kitchen all season. The losers will be prepping the kitchen, and sprucing up the dining room. Stoner Dave gets to eat with his fiance and his sister at the chef’s table, as well. In the dining room, Scheming Kevin and Ariel slog their way through polishing silverware and ironing tablecloths.

4) Dinner service challenge: Chef Ramsay needs to find out who can run a restaurant, which means each of them will take a turn running the pass. For the sixth time in as many seasons, the chefs are told that they need to run the kitchen…or the kitchen will run them. It’s time for our final dinner service! Sous Chefs Scott and Heather will help out where needed. This also means they will be sabotaging dishes for each contestant to test whether or not they look at and taste the food prior to it being served to the diners.

5) First up, Scheming Kevin. His communication is good, and the chefs seem to be following his lead well. Things can’t be rosy the whole time, though, and the first sabotage is coming in the form of a halibut being used in place of a sea bass. He catches it! Chef Ramsay praises his eye. And here’s where we get to see the contestants act like perfectionists. Scheming Kevin claims Ariel is slowing him down. She sends up a too-done lamb, and Scheming Kevin asks for it again. And again. She thinks Scheming Kevin’s got it out for her. I imagine this will translate into her sending back everything Scheming Kevin makes when it’s her turn to run the pass.

6) Next up is Stoner Dave. He calls out orders, and starts yelling at everyone in a very Ramsay-like manner. This is a different side of Stoner Dave. It does result in food leaving quickly, so bully for him. His sabotage comes in the form of spinach puree being used instead of asparagus puree in the risotto. He tastes it, and sends it out! Chef Ramsay calls for a stop, and takes Stoner Dave out to the dining room to tell him what mistake he missed. Ramsay pushes him to run things better. Stoner Dave’s next sabotage is a tuna sent to the pass with no sear and no sesame seeds. Again, Stoner Dave lets it go out, and Chef Ramsay curses a storm at him to let him know that he’s got to run the pass better. After that, Stoner Dave starts spotting errors and finds a groove.

7) Our first hour is winding down, so it’s Ariel’s turn at the pass. Her first sabotage test is a parsnip puree in place of mashed potatoes. She lets it go, and when Ramsay orders her to taste it she only guesses that it needs more cream. She doesn’t recognize the taste of parsnip. Her leadership skills seems to be intact, as orders are going out. Since she missed the first test, it’s time for another. This time salmon is used in place of a sea bass. She catches that one, and yells at Sous Chef Scott to re-fire it. But since her time at the pass is almost done, here comes the Scheming Kevin drama. He claims to not know what she’s calling out, and starts to slow down. He even asks Sous Chef Heather what the orders are, and apparently this is the “breaking the rules of the kitchen” we were teased with at the end of last week’s episode. Wow. How, um, controversial? Chef Ramsay lays into Kevin for not asking Ariel to repeat the order, but then gives it to Ariel for not maintaining control over the kitchen. She interviews that Scheming Kevin is trying to make her look bad.

8) Well, service is completed. Chef Ramsay tells us that the real test tonight was [obviously] the test of leadership at the pass. He claims that each chef had ups and downs, and wants each one to come up with the one person they feel does not belong in the final two. Upstairs, no one knows what to do. Scheming Kevin claims it was Ariel’s communication skills that caused his slowness. No one is yelling or throwing someone under the proverbial bus, so we go downstairs for–

9) Elimination time.
Scheming Kevin, who should go? Ariel, because she’s not “there” yet.
Ariel, what’s your thought? Scheming Kevin, because he didn’t have her back at the pass. Oh awesome, a tie.
Stoner Dave care to resolve this? Ariel, because of her time at the pass.

Chef Ramsay’s got nothing. OK, new tactic.
Scheming Kevin, why do you belong here? He claims he’s the strongest in everything he does. He can run the Araxi restaurant.
Ariel how about you? She explains that she’s grown, she’s got potential, and she can run the Araxi. I love how these guys think they’re actually going to be running a restaurant when this is over.
Stoner Dave, your inclusion in the final two is a forgone conclusion, but how about you give us your two cents? He says that he’s led himself through this game. He can run the kitchen.

10) To find out who is advancing to the final, two screens fall from the ceiling. The advancing chefs will be projected onto the screens. And first up is Stoner Dave! Chef Ramsay announces with considerable less enthusiasm that the second person in the finals is Scheming Kevin. Ariel says her goodbyes, and is given a praise-filled sendoff by Chef Ramsay. He even allows her to keep the black jacket as a reminder of her time in Hell’s Kitchen. The final two have a limo waiting for them, as we head into the second hour.

Next time: No next time this time, we’re going right into our second hour! What are you waiting for? Head on over to Part II for the exciting conclusion!

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2) Again we’re told that vegetarians suck, but must be catered to if you plan on running a successful eating establishment. Today’s reward challenge is to make a stunning vegetarian dish. Stoner Dave calls it a “true challenge.” The chefs have to make eighty portions. Scheming Kevin’s doing a mushroom crepe with beet carpaccio. Shouty Tennille has a mushroom-stuffed eggplant with mushroom sauce. Ariel’s making a vegetarian lasagna. Stoner Dave’s doing a polenta tower with goat cheese. Stoner Dave seems to be struggling, but refuses help; he’s working through pain.

3) None of the chefs have eighty plates done by the time an hour has passed, but that doesn’t matter because the guests are here! And since we haven’t seen any yet this season, they must be children! That don’t like vegetables! Oh, the twists just keep on coming. After tasting all of the dishes, the kids will rate the best one. The producers make them all shout “we want food!” to manufacture some drama in the kitchen. The chefs throw plating to the wind and just toss the food on the plates. Stoner Dave starts calling his a “sandwich” and pals around with the kids to curry some favor. Ariel feels she lucked out with the lasagna. Scheming Kevin’s got an all-vegetable dish, and he’s having trouble selling it. We’ve got various shots of kids yakking up food and generally disliking everything. To pay off the kids for doing this, Chef Ramsay hands out goodie bags of candy.

4) Results:
With 40% votes for Least Favorite: Scheming Kevin.
The top two dishes are Stoner Dave and Shouty Tennille. And with 55% of the votes your winner is Shouty Tennille! Let the shouting interviews commence. The losers’ punishment is to clean up the dining room, naturally. Shouty Tennille gets a glamor day in Beverly Hills, so that she looks presentable when she accompanies Chef Ramsay to Nobu for lunch. Back in the dorms, the rest of the chefs whine that they didn’t win because they made “adult” food, while the juvenile food Shouty Tennille made was suited to the children. Shouty Tennille gets all Whoopie’d up, and heads over to Nobu. She yells how awesome it is to have an internationally recognized chef make her and Chef Ramsay lunch. Then she gets a set of Henckel sushi knives. She shout-erviews thank-yous to the little kids, and we’re back to Hell’s Kitchen. Shouty Tennille changes into the black jacket, and it’s about time for the…

5) Dinner service challenge: Chef Ramsay gives a quick pep talk and praises the final four, and says they can do better. Put some passion on the plate! With that, here come the tickets. So far everyone is communicating, with Scheming Kevin leading the way on appetizers. So far, so good, but this is Hell’s Kitchen, and Shouty Tennille screws up an order of scallops. Chef Ramsay correctly tells her that if she can’t cook scallops she shouldn’t be here.

6) All the appetizers are out in a half hour (wow, really?), and it’s up to Stoner Dave on the meat station to keep it going. He goes to pick up the lamb to put it in the oven, and sinks to the ground in visible pain. Chef Ramsay doesn’t see it and keeps calling for the lamb to the pass. Stoner Dave heads to the back before he passes out on the floor, and Chef Ramsay follows and tells the medic to look at him and make sure he’s OK (with what, the backstage MRI?). Stoner Dave tells us he can work through the pain (again).

7) Shouty Tennille messes up the sea bass, getting burned bits all through the sauce. The fish station is a mess, and the line comes to a halt. Again fish comes up wrong, this time it’s halibut. Stoner Dave interviews that Shouty Tennille shouldn’t be here. Everyone is asking her how long she needs, and she doesn’t do herself any favors by calling two minutes, then six minutes when Chef Ramsay asks her again. He’s not taking any of that crap, and to the cooler they go to have a talk. Chef Ramsay tells her to get it together, and he seems to genuinely want her to pull through. Back to the kitchen they go, and Shouty Tennille is trying to bounce back. This time, the halibut is cooked perfectly. With that, we hit the last table and we’re done. Shouty Tennille is disappointed in her service, and Stoner Dave thinks he could go home due to his injury.

8) Chef Ramsay is very concerned about Stoner Dave, due to the pain he’s working through. Stoner Dave pleads his case, asking not to be taken out due to his wrist, but only due to his ability. Chef Ramsay relents, but lets Stoner Dave know he’s keeping an eye on him.

9) Next, Chef Ramsay turns his attention to Shouty Tennille, saying that she had the worst service of the group tonight. He doesn’t want any nominations; to save her being called out and belittled by the team, he calls for her jacket then and there, asking her to leave hell’s kitchen. He’s very proud of her, and praises her. Through tears, she says goodbye to the team. So what are we going to do for the next twelve minutes? Her goodbye montage can’t take that long.

10) Upstairs, the final three share a beer. And then the phone rings. It’s Chef Ramsay, and he calls the chefs downstairs. Again, he talks about Stoner Dave and the possibility that his injury may just be worse than he thinks. Chef Ramsay says he’s still not sure he made the right decision. But after a suspenseful music sting, he claims he knows he did. To reward the chefs, it’s family time! Stoner Dave’s fiance! Ariel’s fiance! Scheming Kevin’s wife! YOU get a family member! And YOU get a family member! Awwwww. Everyone hangs out and enjoys the company. Chef Ramsay tells everyone to say goodnight, and we’re done.

Next time: People run the pass! Someone falls apart! Someone ignores the rules of the kitchen! Wait, what are they? The finale, finally!

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Last week, Chef Ramsay walked out! People got out! People were eliminated! Tactful Van, thanks for coming out! OK, here we go.

1) Upstairs, Stoner Dave gets pissed at Shouty Tennille for sticking to her convictions and telling Chef Ramsay the truth about how Tactful Van needed to go. He feels that if she was going to do that she should have told the whole team first. Scheming Kevin’s playing the sit and watch game, and Suzanne seems to know that she’s on borrowed time. The next day, Chef Ramsay is ready to test the final five in their first individual challenge, and it’s all about presentation. To help judge, the editorial staff of Bon Apetit magazine is in the house! Chef Ramsay explains that they reach 5.8 million readers per month. Suzanne talks about how she and everyone else in the industry read it. Sure you do. We’re all here, so let’s get to the…

2) Reward Challenge: Each contestant will make a dish; the staff will judge the dishes based purely on presentation. I’m wondering who green-lit this challenge because there’s no way for it to end in a tie. After the dishes are ranked, the top two dishes will be tasted and judged by chef Chef Ramsay and the head of the staff. Ahhh, so that’s how they’ll do it. I was worried there for a second. As always, Chef Ramsay reminds the team that no one wants to lose this challenge. Suzanne’s doing a calamari salad; Stoner Dave interviews that it’s not good enough for Bon Apetit. Meanwhile, he’s got a rack of lamb with fingerling potatoes. Ariel doing some type of John Dory dish. Shouty Tennille is doing snapper, but it breaks apart at the last minute, so she just piles the garnish on top of it. Scheming Kevin’s got Caribbean sea bass. Most of these dishes seem to follow the “make something, pile sauce and garnish on top of it” formula. Stoner Dave blanks completely on what his dish is in front of the judges and in his interview. Smooth.

3) After tallying the votes, the dishes break down like this:
5th: Shouty Tennille
4th: Suzanne
3rd: Stoner Dave
2nd: Ariel (Sage- & prosciutto-wrapped John Dory with cranberries)
1st: Scheming Kevin (Pan-seared sea bass, finished in the oven, with lots of fruit)

4) And the winner is—both?! Oh you’re fricking KIDDING me. Oohh, it’s so hard to pick a winner; they’re both so good. Save it. I’m done. Both dishes will be featured in the magazine. Scheming Kevin and Ariel get to eat with Chef Ramsay and the Bon Apetit lady at Shutters on the Beach, as well as be in a photo shoot. It’s Next Food Network Star and Top Model rolled into one! The losers get to go do some street cleaning. Apparently, at some point Hell’s Kitchen adopted a section of highway in LA, and the losers are off to clean it, pick up trash, and do community service type stuff. But they do get sweet orange municipal jumpsuits. Shouty Tennille hates looking like a convict in orange, and pledges in her interview to never commit a crime.

5) When they get back to Hell’s Kitchen, they have to clean the entire place. Stoner Dave’s wrist starts swelling up, and he gets about a foot width of ice wrapped around it. Scheming Kevin is telling him to look out for himself and not get some long-tern damage, which on one hand is strategic but on the other is probably a little bit genuine. Stoner Dave of course interviews that he needs to look out for people and win this. Way to be, Stoner Dave. During prep, Scheming Kevin is trying to lead, and is getting coldness from everyone, obviously.

6) Dinner challenge. Stoner Dave has told people that he may not be able to do some things, and the rest should help him “for the team.” The two Reward Challenge-winning entrees are on the menu tonight, and right away Suzanne is too slow with a scallop order. That gets fixed quickly, but the Announcer Man lets us know that lots of people are arriving at the same time (wow, almost like they’re supposed to do that), and tickets are flowing in. Ariel spies an overcooked risotto, but Shouty Tennille lets it go. Chef Ramsay finds it immediately and calls for it to be redone. Shouty Tennille again screws up the risotto, but it appears the rice was overcooked during the prep. Scheming Kevin cops to it. Stoner Dave of course blames Shouty Tennille for not seeing it. Chef Ramsay keeps shouting about the rice, yelling at Scheming Kevin over and over. More risotto goes to the pass, and Chef Ramsay calls over Scheming Kevin and Shouty Tennille to yell that…the rice is done right. Oh. Well, good then.

7) Time for entrees. Now we’ve got pink undercooked chicken up at the pass. Bad move, Ariel. She redoes it and now it’s fine. Entrees are going out, and Suzanne screws up the fish. Chef Ramsay makes the “more cooked at a sushi bar” comment for the third episode in a row now. He yells that the fish needs to be continuously basted with the pan sauce to cook it through, but he’s visibly starting to crack under the strain of working with five smart people that have inexplicably turned into moronic children. He bemoans the inconsistencies of the kitchen and says varying combinations of, “It’s not possible,” for a good twenty or thirty seconds. This? This is the “Chef Ramsay in disbelief” that we were promised last week? Wow. I’m floored; no really, I am.

8) An order of lamb goes up cut ragged, and Chef Ramsay takes Ariel outside to the dining room and makes her admit that she would not send that out if she were at the Araxi. A quick meeting is called, and Chef Ramsay lets the team know that he’s not going to keep sending out one plate at a time as they’re completed, to every table. The team needs to get it together or get out. Somehow, the service limps along without getting shut down to the last table, and with one more order of lamb out, the service is completed. No one is happy about how bad the service was, especially the Boss. Chef Ramsay tells the team that they, as a team, have to come up with two names to eliminate. Upstairs, Scheming Kevin calls it to a vote; everyone pick two people. Suzanne feels that everything she did was great. Amidst looks of disbelief she says with a straight face that she owned her station and made no mistakes. Ariel calls out Scheming Kevin for the risotto prep fiasco, most likely to bring everybody back to reality.

9) We cut to downstairs, so somehow the team has come to a decision. Since we saw next to none of this process I’m sure that this will devolve into Chef Ramsay just picking whoever he wants to get out. But let’s humor him. Scheming Kevin, first nominee and why: Ariel, because of inconsistencies, bad lamb, and a bad overall service. Second nominee and why: Suzanne, due to raw fish, bad scallops, and her thinking her service was without issue.

10) Suzanne, why, for the fourth time, should you stay? She claims she was focused on solid techniques and cooking to perfection. Chef Ramsay tells her flatly that she failed. So she defaults to just saying she’s a better chef than Ariel. Yep, that’ll work. Ariel, there’s only a few minutes left in this episode, why should you stay? She believes she is better that Suzanne and better that Chef Ramsay has seen so far, and wants another chance. Chef Ramsay thinks they both should go. In the end, it’s Suzanne. Chef Ramsay cites all of the chances he gave her and she still couldn’t pull through. As she leaves, he tells the team they need to bounce back right quick.

Next time: Shouty Tennille dodged a bullet! Everyone is on their own! Did Stoner Dave go too far? Crazy surprises! As always, you don’t want to miss this [recap]!

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